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You're trying to seduce me

Sex and Dating

James Love, Ph. D.

Issue date: 11/12/10 Section: Focus
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According to a probably reliable Internet dictionary, the fourth definition of the verb "seduce" is to win over; attract; entice. As in, "the baker seduced customers with her delicious pie." This example shows the two primary aspects of seduction - interaction and subtlety.

It is true that being honest about what you want and how you feel is important, but there is no reason to look like an idiot while doing so. Learning the art of seduction is helpful in understanding how to send and receive signals that denote interest. This interest can be, but is not limited to: a person's mind for conversation about the universe, social life for platonic activities like basketball and video games, and physical appearance for sexual activities like intercourse.

The first step to seduction is interaction. Find a way to interact with whomever you are interested in. Be friendly, but respectful of personal space. DO: say hello, be polite, and make small talk. DON'T: breathe on them, use a pick-up line, or talk too much about yourself. Be pleasant and talk about something you have in common, like the weather, your chem lab, or a mutual friend.

Finding a way to break the ice can be difficult and requires practice. Find whatever strategy suits you, from non-sequitur comments about platypuses or the Jonas Brothers, to observational humor or even simple chit-chat. Don't just go up to someone and say "You're really pretty. Want to hang out?" Instead, say, "Hi, my name is James. I think I've seen you around here before. Are you a chemistry major?" Note that recently, it has become customary to introduce oneself after the introduction, rather than before.

Be aware that while receiving friendliness is indicative of interest, it does not express a particular type of interest. If you have an interest in someone who is acting friendly toward you, return the friendliness. Finding out what types of interest exist requires subtlety, the elegant part of seduction.
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Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2

    Chase Weinman

    posted 12/26/10 @ 7:34 PM EST

    I would like to see some sort of data collected on this. To me this seems like the author just pulled whatever sounded good to him out of his buttocks and threw it onto paper. (Continued…)

    Details   Reply to this comment


    posted 12/26/10 @ 7:52 PM EST

    I feel as if I should thank you. You have managed to actually develop a collection of the most amateur mistakes nearly all men make when trying to approach women. (Continued…)

    Details   Reply to this comment

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