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Sex and Dating

Brigit XX

Issue date: 9/3/10 Section: Focus
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Living in a co-ed dorm, I've witnessed the blossoming of many close male-female friendships. I've also heard a lot of boys asking their female friends for advice, or simply for an explanation of why girls do the things they do. Men often seem perplexed by the women in their lives; some even go so far as to say girls "speak a different language."

I think this is just an excuse, a common misconception that has persisted all too long. Women are not that "complicated." Really, most of us want the same things, and we're not that hard to please.

Take the chivalry issue. Some men complain about "mixed signals"-after all, this is the 21st century, yet many girls insist chivalry survives.

Again, it's not that complicated. Here's how I see it: chivalry is not dead, but it has undergone some major changes in the last few centuries. So, gentlemen, I give you a woman's perspective on the issue, as clearly and concisely as I can manage:

We like it when you hold the door for us. It's a nice gesture. Most of us, most of the time, will try to verbally express our appreciation for this gesture. If a girl does not acknowledge this gesture, ever, she is probably not worth your time.

On the other hand, please do not go to any extremes-e.g., throwing your coat over a puddle for us to step on. This is simply impractical, and it makes us feel bad for ruining your coat.

Also, trying too hard to be chivalrous can make you seem insincere-like you're only being polite to win our affection. While this is flattering, it tends to make us nervous. We have to wonder what your motives are and what you're hiding under that mask. Keep in mind that we want you to be nice, but we also want you to be yourself. If you can't be both of these things, then we don't want you at all.

And again, it is the 21st century. We need to know that you respect us. Most of us, at Case in particular, are smart, capable women with ambitions beyond becoming a modern-day June Cleaver. We want a guy who recognizes and appreciates this, and who encourages us to be successful. We certainly do not want someone so insecure that he feels threatened by our success.

But this should not keep you from holding the door for us. Like I said, it's a nice gesture. Remember, it never hurts to be polite, as long as you don't go overboard. And although chivalry is no longer expected, being a gentleman will likely earn you a few brownie points with most women.
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Issue Summary

News

  • Current SEC board coping with unfinished business
  • CWRU ranked in top 50 by U.S. News & World Report for 15th year
  • CWRU sees second highest amount of donations in history
  • Leutner Dining Café opens to pleasant reviews
  • RAM founder Stan Brock receives 2010 Inamori Prize
  • Student injured crossing Adelbert
  • Tense SEC open forum addresses internal SEC issues and upcoming Greek Life referendum
  • USG Brief

Sports

  • Gameday Preview: CWRU vs. JCU
  • Lady Spartans to face tough competition in Labor Day Tournament
  • NFL Preview: Division breakdowns
  • Spartans soundly defeat Hiram Terriers
  • When it rains, it pours

Opinion

  • Bush who? What the 2003 tax cuts mean for your 2011 job outlook
  • Editorial: Permanent solutions necessary to protect student safety
  • Letter to the Editor: Proud to be Greek
  • Letter to the Editor: Stronger SEC commitment to accountability, their constitution needed before they take away Greek Life's money
  • Rough and tumble: the spirit of Cleveland
  • What's your favorite part of Leutner?

Focus

  • Distractions
  • Engineers Without Borders breaks cultural boundaries, builds wells in Cameroon
  • Expansive Ancient Galleries latest addition to Cleveland Museum of Art
  • Facebook nightmares
  • Friends and strangers combine forces to help Paul Paterson graduate
  • Going back to Those Gold Soundz: The Church of Andrew W.K.
  • Jesty Beatz brings fame to Zeta Psi house
  • MOCA makes big plans for move to University Circle
  • Modern music dominates new season for Cleveland Orchestra
  • Sex and Dating
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