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          Wake me up before you go-go

          Erika and Chelsea, the girls next door

          Issue date: 4/9/10 Section: Focus
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          Ok; so you just woke up topless…bottomless…maybe completely naked…or maybe completely clothed (in your clothes from last night). Waking up on a regular morning is hard enough as it is. It's even worse when you wake up in someone else's bed or with someone else in yours. In our experience, there seems to be confusion about proper morning etiquette. So here is the guide that Ms. Manners never wrote.

          Acceptable conversation topics:

          If you both are awake at the same time, serious conversation should always be avoided, but sometimes small talk is not the best option either. Bringing up a mutual friend that one of you had a fling with is not the smoothest opening line. Chances are you both may have been (or still are) inebriated, so try to keep things neutral. If you don't remember what happened, try not to let onto that. Slipping in a "So last night was fun…" to test the waters is a good start. Interpret whatever laughter that follows as agreement; no need to hurt your ego.

          How to leave:

          If you don't know where you are, try not to panic. Try to figure out where you are by looking for clues. What posters are on the walls? Are you in campus housing or someone's house? What name is on the papers on the desk? If you can't figure out a name, avoid using one. Hopefully, someone you were out with last night does. You can't be sure if this is going to be a repeat occurrence so gather up your clothing and jewelry. There is nothing worse than having to ask someone in class the next day if they happened to find your earring in their room…except having them hand you your sweater. If the person is a sound sleeper, it is O.K. to get up and leave, but a note may be in order. If they are awake and you need a quick get-away, everyone understands that you "just have a lot of work to get done."

          If someone is in your bed:

          By all means, do not get up and leave them there as you go to work. No one is eager to meet your suitemates that way. Make sure they have a method of departure. If you can, offer them a lift. You might have to pull teeth for conversation; but you will at least be remembered as the person nice enough to drop them off at the quad. If you don't have a set of wheels, wait with them until they can get a ride. If you are hurting for conversation, turn on the TV. Everyone can bond over an infomercial.

          Dealing with roommates:

          Unless you are super-comfortable with their roommates, try to avoid them on your way out. Otherwise, it is O.K. to say hi (just ignore the shocked faces). Roommates talk; it is likely your mutual friends will find out. But remember, it is only awkward if you make it awkward. If need be, just pretend you haven't hooked up with their roommate during your visit.If you are in a Greek house, make a quiet escape (although, they all know you were there).

          These are just guidelines. There are a lot of factors that you need to consider, like how comfortable you are with a person, and whether you want to hit that again. At some point in the night, you both thought it was a good idea. It takes two people to make a morning after; it only takes one to make it awkward.
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          In This Issue

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          Opinion

          • City boasts unusual outdoor spaces for observing Cleveland in springtime
          • Editorial: Although meal plan policy remains unchanged, policy seems fundamentally flawed
          • Letters to the editor: Greek Life opportunities
          • Political leaders are ill-equipped to decide when wars are "just"
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          Focus

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          • International Conference on Narrative successful and engaging
          • Just a Perfect Day
          • Pokémon returns to Nintendo DS with best games in years
          • Rompers: this season's divisive trend
          • Safety First
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