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          Spartan Spotlight: John Smetona

          Greg Meyer

          Issue date: 3/5/10 Section: Sports
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          Courtesy howstuffworks.com
          Courtesy howstuffworks.com
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          Courtesy: truecrimereport.com
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          Courtesy blu-ray.com
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          John Smetona is the lone senior on the men's tennis team. He plays in the No. 1 or 2 singles spot and on the No. 1 doubles team. Smetona hails from Medina, Ohio and attended University School before he came to CWRU. He is majoring in biomedical engineering and music.

          Greg Meyer: What inspired you to play?

          John Smetona: The beating that was coming if I didn't.

          GM: Yes, you wouldn't want to end the long lineage of Smetona tennis greatness. What are some of your hobbies?

          JS: Molesting Isaac Pearlman and videotaping his confrontations with my co-captain Rohan Patel. See the videos on Case Varsity Tennis fan page for evidence.

          GM: You guys have a fan page? Big time. What is your best tennis memory?

          JS: Twenty-six butts up on the losing half of our team (serve at them while they bend over).

          GM: From my count you only have nine guys on your roster, which means even if you counted each cheek separately, that's only 18. Someone must be losing… A lot. What is your worst tennis memory?

          JS: Getting soaked by Alex Solove's sweat when he jumped on my back for a piggyback ride.

          GM: Relatively disgusting. What is your favorite quote?

          JS: "That will be all, thank you." -Isaac Pearlman.

          GM: Is that along the lines of, "I said good day!?" If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?

          JS: Kyle Gerber - the only man with enough swag to do me justice. And his haircut is awesome.

          GM: His haircut looks like Lloyd Christmas, which makes me seriously question the swag comment. What is your least favorite thing about tennis?

          JS: Losing to someone unathletic - or just losing in general.

          GM: I wouldn't like it either if I had to take balls in the butt afterwards, as you described previously. If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?

          JS: Get what I want from all the guys I know by flirting with them.

          GM: Let me get this straight. You have one crack at this and you choose to flirt with guys? C'mon man. If you could participate in any other sport, which would you pick and why?

          JS: Lacrosse - so when I nail someone with the ball it will actually do some damage.

          GM: Fair enough. What would we find in your locker right now that might surprise us?

          JS: A bag of Isaac Pearlman's chest hair.

          GM: I don't even know where to begin. So many different things wrong with that. What's the one thing that most people don't know about tennis?

          JS: Even though it's individualistic, we forge a team bond with partner stretching.

          GM: It's the best time to find out what happened the night before. What's the high point in the tennis season?

          JS: I hope it's still coming with a "W" over a ranked team.

          GM: Keep on keepin on. Who is the best athlete you've ever competed with or against and why?

          JS: Wojo Woycznski - the only person I know who has never worried.

          GM: That would definitely be a plus under pressure. Any insight on how the season is going so far?

          JS: I'm getting ready to curb-stomp some dudes.

          GM: Well, stomp away John.
          Page 1 of 1

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          In This Issue

          News

          • Can you name this place?
          • CWRU receives record number of applications
          • Have you heard about Undergraduate Student Nursing Association
          • LGBT center slated to open in April
          • Make it count: a guide to the 2010 US Census
          • SEC considering proposals concerning Greek funding

          Sports

          • Baseball team-by-team preview
          • Questions float through AL Central
          • Seasons end with wins at Carnegie Mellon
          • Seasons end with wins at Carnegie Mellon
          • Softball team-by-team preview
          • Spartan Spotlight: John Smetona
          • Spartans return offense and gain depth
          • Students turn out for Hoop-A-Paluza
          • Will freshman-heavy team be able to improve on last year's 0-8?

          Fun Page

          • Crossword Solution
          • Killer Sudoku Solution
          • Sudoku Solutions

          Opinion

          • Children aren't reality TV spectacles
          • Defining "American" to Argentines difficult, at best
          • Editorial: A review of information accessibility
          • Revisiting Vietnam's legacy at Case Western Reserve
          • Urban farming in Cleveland: not far-fetched
          • What are you doing for Spring Break?

          Focus

          • Alternative resources showcased at Fair Trade and Secondhand Expo
          • CIA and CWRU students collaborate on iPhone game ChromaWaves
          • Dressing handsomely at CWRU
          • Poets slam at UPB Poetry Jam
          • Roller-rink musical Xanadu brings disco and inferno
          • Spouse hunting
          • Step up the drama with SEC
          • The Buzz
          • The Observer predicts this year's Academy Award winners
          • Three Eighths, Black, whalenapper to open for Minus the Bear at Springfest
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