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Spread the love, spread disease

Kuiper Beltran, Casanova-in-training

Issue date: 1/22/10 Section: Sex and Dating
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Sadly, as college-age individuals are wont to do, many foolishly pursue romance even in the coldest and most hazardous of seasons. If you find yourself compelled to seek interaction, make sure you do so in a prudent manner. One approach is to urge your company to eliminate any interaction that could lead to the spread of flu germs, such as making physical contact or inhaling. Alternatively, you can create an environment which is inhospitable to the flu virus by turning up the thermostat up to a reasonable level of 180 degrees, which should be high enough to kill the flu virus. This warmer environment is also highly conducive to romance as well, as long as you do not mind the smell of burning flesh.

The harsh winter conditions also offer you a unique opportunity to demonstrate your worthiness as a mate. Because there are fewer people actively dating, you have less competition, and the size of your potential pool doesn't necessarily decrease if you are proactive in seeking out potential dates. Just remember, if you are initiating the date, you should also be the one to pay for the surgical masks for both you and your partner.
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    posted 1/22/10 @ 5:55 PM EST

    I think i will take that risk and continue having contact with the human race. :)

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    In This Issue


    • A conversation with: Colleen Hosler
    • Building a better you
    • Case Western Reserve University strikes agreement concerning Kindle use with Department of Justice
    • Celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr.
    • CWRU's annual "Integrity Week" to kick off today
    • Engineers Week gives CWRU engineers opportunity to get noticed

    Spartan Spotlight

    • Spartan Spotlight: Leanne Austin

    Sex and Dating

    • Defining dating


    • Fencing does well at CSU
    • Indoor Track Gameday: Case vs. Carnegie Mellon
    • Whalen looking to make leap to NFL

    Fun Page

    • Combo Scramble Solution
    • Crossword Solution
    • Sudoku Solutions

    USG Briefs

    • USG Minutes

    Worst Case Scenario

    • Requiem for the hub


    • An American: only what the Constitution says it is
    • Editorial: Kindle developments won't change much for vast majority of students
    • Recruitment works well despite quirks
    • The job hunt: tedious for English majors and engineers alike


    • Ranked Bears hold off Spartans
    • Spartans get close but fall just short

    Cornerstone Epiphanies

    • Affirmative action ultimately counterproductive


    • A look at some of the best films in theaters as Oscar season wraps up
    • Beets are sweet alternative to common vegetables
    • Music department to host Boulez, Marcus with Colloquia
    • Playhouse Square hosts stellar production of Chicago
    • Ratatat, Flogging Molly decline UPB's offers to perform at Winter Concert
    • Reviewing the bars of Cleveland; ensuring the quality of your nights out
    • Sands of Destruction offers disappointing gameplay
    • Spring 2010 to offer new music from Arcade Fire, Strokes and others

    Name That Place

    • Can you name this place?


    • Mount Union too much for grapplers

    Pro Sports

    • For NBA draftees, fitting in is the key

    State You Case

    • What is your favorite restaurant?

    The Buzz

    • The Buzz
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