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Are you tired?

Allie, Erika and Lissa, the girls next door

Issue date: 12/4/09 Section: Sex and Dating
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You must be tired, because you have been running through my mind all night!

OK, boys. That's not going to work.
Getting "picked up" at Case is difficult. You get dressed up, put on heels and possibly do a little bit of pre-gaming just to be met by boys too nervous to approach you or who shake your hand at the end of the night. Well, clearly they are not getting any.
Girls, as much as you may want to be romanced per se, sometimes you have to make the first move. Here are some common pick up lines thrown around CWRU with reckless abandon that have proven to be effective.

1. "Where are you sleeping tonight?"
Best if used on: A man, for whom you are seriously concerned. You may start off wanting to make sure he will pass out safely before you end up in his bed.

2. "Can we schedule sex for 1 a.m.? That gives you two hours to get drunk."
Best if used on: A man who you have booty called to a party. The second part should only be used on a booty call.

3. "That's kinky. Want to try it naked?"
Best if used on: A girl.

4. "Are you drinking alone? Oh? Follow me."
Best if used on: A man, in a bar who you do not know. It quickly becomes an adventure.

5. - "I like to get to know people before I have sex."
- "Take your clothes off."
Best if used on: Someone that you obviously want, yet have no respect for.

6. "I. Am. Drunk."
Best if used on: A man with whom you are acquainted. This can create some serious issues the next day if you really don't know him well to begin with.

7. "Oh, can I have a tour of your apartment?"
Best if used on: A guy who will show you the bathroom, then the bedroom.

8. "If you go in her bed, she will f--- you."
Best if used by: A friend, on your behalf.

9. - "Do you have a condom?"
- "Yeah."
- "Me too."
Best if used on: A man that you are currently screening. This rules out virgins.

10. "Do you want to take a shower?"
Best if used on: Any boy in the vicinity of (where else?) a shower.

11. "I think I hear someone calling your name over here…"
Best if used on: Someone pretending to be as na've as you sound.

12. "Quick, let's bang so we can brainstorm!"
Best if used at: A study session where nothing (but each other) is getting done.

Instead of studying for metrics or that anthropology final, try studying the scene at McNulty's or Panini's. Chat up that babe starring into your dreamy eyes, find out his/her major, and favorite domestic draft beer, and try one of our guaranteed good-time lines.
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    posted 12/07/09 @ 10:30 PM EST

    Man who are the sluts who write this, they sound like a fun (and easy lol) lay.

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    In This Issue

    Cross Country

    • Women finish 15th in nation; Simpson has best finish in university history


    • A conversation with Christina Mastrangelo
    • CWRU students among thousands at SOA protest
    • CWRU's Great Lakes Energy Institute honored as "Center of Excellence"
    • Relay for Life 2010 kicks off with recruitment fair
    • Smart holiday spending tips
    • USG Minutes

    Spartan Spotlight

    • Spartan Spotlight: Reid Anderson

    Sex and Dating

    • Are you tired?


    • All-American, UAA honorees back
    • Building starts on Mather Park
    • Dukes, Criss keep grapplers strong in the middle
    • For Spartans, Allegheny is splitsville
    • Revolving door is no good for the Browns
    • So far, it's been so good for women's basketball


    • Early Ending: Spartans eliminated from playoffs by Trine University

    Fun Page

    • Combo Scramble Solution
    • Crossword Solution
    • Sudoku Solutions

    Worst Case Scenario

    • Reading days and salad days


    • Column on smoking misinformed
    • Copenhagen summit may not be effective
    • Divisive politics dilute meaningful discourse
    • Editorial: Semester grades
    • Junior year abroad - wait, a whole year?
    • Take some time to earn your coal
    • What are your plans for winter break?


    • Director Peter Jackson discusses film adaptation of The Lovely Bones
    • M.U.S.I.C. assembles talented group of musicians for 24-hour recital
    • Surviving the home stretch
    • The Buzz
    • The Observer's choices for the best books of 2009
    • The Observer's choices for the best films of 2009
    • The Observer's choices for the best music of 2009
    • The Observer's choices for the best video games of 2009
    • The Spectrum Drag Ball
    • tUnE-yArDs' debut record merges folk music with noise
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