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One night of paradise

Dr. Desiree, Sex Therapist

Issue date: 9/11/09 Section: Sex and Dating
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There's something about the one-night stand that is both appealing and disappointing. After three years of heartbreak and relationships for my roommates and myself, we have all come to experience the one-night stand with a variety of outcomes. What is to be expected from a one-night stand: guilt, pleasure, and convenient memory loss?

After a friend of mine had her first one-night stand recently, I got to reminisce about my own experience on the matter. We had a good laugh, shared the proverbial post-coital smoke, and went on our merry way. The next morning I woke up alone in my own bed, which was both relaxing and sad. While I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing my crazy morning-after hair, there was no loving boyfriend to make me breakfast or shower with. As someone who spends more time contemplating relationships and not plotting my next hot hook-up, it was eerie and new.

The whole next day, I wandered around from class to class trying to understand what I was feeling. I tried as hard as I could to ignore self-indulgent thoughts about my ex-boyfriend, but to no avail. Having a one-time thing made me miss being in a relationship. Instead of feeling empowered by my sexuality to the point of independence, I ended up craving monogamy. I spent the rest of the day hiding out in comfy chairs in the library, and doing everything in my power not to call my ex, so I wouldn't sound desperate, slutty, or tragic.

Maybe I need to accept that I'm not this sexually enlightened being who can do whatever I want just for the sake of it. I can't change the past, so I guess I can take this as a learning experience I shared with someone who (thank goodness) is a great person and a great friend. I know the two of us will let this one just slide under the rug. One-night stands can be fun, if you're in the right mind set. Turns out they are not the cure-all drug for loneliness and attempting to get over someone else. However, if you are emotionally available, single and sexually active, college seems like a good place to test them out (just use protection please).

I asked my other friends about their own one-night stands, and perhaps not surprisingly their answers were underwhelming. Their reactions ranged from "I think he's gay," to "Oh God, I was so drunk, can we never mention that again?" to "I need to wash my sheets immediately." Even some guy friends shocked me by expressing some concern over their increasing number of sexual partners. While the rules of dating have changed for college students, it turns out everyone has their own particular set of morals and sexual policies. For me, I think sex is great, whether with a serious boyfriend or a total stranger. If tempted by the one-night stand fantasy, just take a minute to really think it over first. You have to make your own rules.
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Harry Faucet

posted 9/04/09 @ 12:44 PM EST

This story isn't funny or helpful. I suggest removing the author from this title on the staff.

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frog3

posted 9/05/09 @ 9:15 PM EST

harry faucet is a stupid doo doo head and i loved this article

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KYLE

posted 9/05/09 @ 10:22 PM EST

This is awesome, and I'm finally going to ask that girl out that shares that book with me and runs away when I try to ask her about her other classes/hobbies. (Continued…)

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THATS IT

posted 9/08/09 @ 11:11 PM EST

All these years and all I had to do was go steal my own turf. THANKS OXYCLEAN

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Paula S

posted 9/11/09 @ 1:43 PM EST

Great article! Just goes to show that we, as women, are wired to need relationships and that casual sex just does not work for us (at least for long). (Continued…)

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insaneinDmembraine

posted 9/16/09 @ 2:07 PM EST

I want to hear more about the ex and the friend's stained sheets. WU-TANG

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In This Issue

News

  • A conversation with Major Jason Winterle
  • Budgeting 101 for college students
  • Can you name this place?
  • Case holds first annual Campus Security Fair
  • Case Western prepares to serve community
  • Have you heard about ACM?
  • Nursing "freshmen stimulus" provides support for incoming students, provokes unease
  • USG Briefs

Sports

  • Club sports & news
  • Fantasy Football
  • Gameday
  • Volleyball goes 3-1 at Wooster
  • Women's soccer takes two at JCU

Fun Page

  • Crossword Solution
  • Maze Solution
  • Sudoku Solutions

Opinion

  • "You lie:" an old-fashioned outburst
  • Buenos Aires: most romantic city?
  • Editorial: Student groups deserve credit for programming
  • Learning to be responsible
  • Letters to the Editor
  • Letters to the Editor
  • State your case photos: What would you do with an Inamori Ethics Prize?

Focus

  • All's Well in CWRU MFA/Cleveland Playhouse production of overlooked Shakespeare classic
  • Dittrick Medical History Center reopens exhibit on history of contraception
  • Fashion for the frugal: look stylish on a budget
  • Hitting the Spot: The Antlers
  • Making breakfast work for you: getting a grip on granola
  • Nintendo DS game mixes strategy and traditional RPG elements for unique, timesaving gameplay
  • The Buzz
  • The Worst Case Scenario
  • Trail of Dead coming to Cleveland

Football

  • Whalen becomes all-time passing leader in win over Rochester

Sex and Dating

  • Executing the first date

Soccer

  • Stopped at nothing: Spartans shut out No. 21 Ohio Northern

Spartan Spotlight

  • Spartan Spotlight: Andrea Wojtowicz
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