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The Worst Case Scenario

Punching out the clock

Ruchi Asher

Issue date: 9/4/09 Section: Worst Case Scenario
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Morning classes have truly been the bane of my existence. This became apparent freshman year: after fall break, I simply stopped attending my 8:30 a.m. SAGES. Last year, studying abroad in London, I rarely made it to 9 a.m. lectures. Anyone who has suffered the misfortune of living with me knows that I truly am immune to the siren call of alarm clocks. Having developed increasingly creative ways to snooze, ignore, or even destroy my alarm clock, I accumulated a rather impressive collection of ineffective and dysfunctional waking-up devices. I know that I am not alone in this peculiar trait, and it seems rather wasteful that all these perfectly cacophonous clocks lay dormant in storage or slowly waiting their decay in landfills.

I am, therefore, proposing a more aesthetic and useful resting ground for all the alarm clocks that have failed awaken students at Case Western Reserve University. There ought to be a memorial to ineffective alarm clocks that consists entirely of said clocks. Perhaps the memorial could resemble an abstract interpretation of a clock. Placed strategically in a grassy bit of campus, the monstrosity would contribute to the CWRU's brilliant collection of modern sculpture. After all, this new work of art could hardly be uglier than "The Ugly Statue" or the mass of shiny metal behind Wade Commons.

The idea is not so unusual: Katholieke Universiteit Leuven in Belgium is overrun by bizarre modern art, including a cicada skewered on a giant spire as well as Fonske, an eerie depiction of a university student filling his brains with beer. The river Dijle, which runs through campus, serves as a final resting place for broken and stolen bicycles. One glance into the water reveals a colorful array of wheels and handlebars strewn about randomly in a rather artistic fashion. CWRU already mirrors KU Leuven in its taste for contemporary sculpture; it's about time we followed suit with an alarm clock memorial, consisting of deceased devices. Granted, the electrical nature of alarm clocks makes a grassy patch of campus a more pragmatic location than the bottom of a river, but we can still derive inspiration from our European counterpart.
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In This Issue


  • A conversation with Major Jason Winterle
  • Budgeting 101 for college students
  • Can you name this place?
  • Case holds first annual Campus Security Fair
  • Case Western prepares to serve community
  • Have you heard about ACM?
  • Nursing "freshmen stimulus" provides support for incoming students, provokes unease
  • USG Briefs


  • Club sports & news
  • Fantasy Football
  • Gameday
  • Volleyball goes 3-1 at Wooster
  • Women's soccer takes two at JCU

Fun Page

  • Crossword Solution
  • Maze Solution
  • Sudoku Solutions


  • "You lie:" an old-fashioned outburst
  • Buenos Aires: most romantic city?
  • Editorial: Student groups deserve credit for programming
  • Learning to be responsible
  • Letters to the Editor
  • Letters to the Editor
  • State your case photos: What would you do with an Inamori Ethics Prize?


  • All's Well in CWRU MFA/Cleveland Playhouse production of overlooked Shakespeare classic
  • Dittrick Medical History Center reopens exhibit on history of contraception
  • Fashion for the frugal: look stylish on a budget
  • Hitting the Spot: The Antlers
  • Making breakfast work for you: getting a grip on granola
  • Nintendo DS game mixes strategy and traditional RPG elements for unique, timesaving gameplay
  • The Buzz
  • The Worst Case Scenario
  • Trail of Dead coming to Cleveland


  • Whalen becomes all-time passing leader in win over Rochester

Sex and Dating

  • Executing the first date


  • Stopped at nothing: Spartans shut out No. 21 Ohio Northern

Spartan Spotlight

  • Spartan Spotlight: Andrea Wojtowicz
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