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      Sex and Dating: Serial Monogamy

      Dr. Desiree, Sex Therapist

      Issue date: 4/10/09 Section: Focus
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      I remember a time, long ago in my history, when my best friend had two boyfriends at once. We were at sleep-away camp, and she had her camp boyfriend, and her home boyfriend. Granted we were 10, and having a boyfriend meant sitting next to each other at the picnic table during snack time. No matter. Even then, I couldn't believe how she was able to do it. Years later, she has somehow managed to continue the lifestyle, having been in a relationship without a break for 5 years.

      Serial monogamy is a trend that I have tried to wrap my head around for a while now. According to Urban Dictionary, the serial monogamist is someone who moves from one relationship to the next with little or no time in between. Some serial monogamists are the serious jumpers who go from one serious relationship to the next, often with their next prey waiting in line before the first breakup. Sometimes these relationships conveniently overlap for a week or two (or even longer in some cases), with the two prospective daters awaiting their fate. Often this could be rebounding after a break up, proving to be a vicious cycle if you need another rebound after your first one.

      Oddly, serial monogamists are somewhat commitment phobic. Jumping into another relationship allows them to completely escape the previous one. If the last relationship didn't go well, and they were hurt in the end, the serial monogamist pours themselves into a new one, forgetting entirely about the previous one. Last but not least is the seemingly overwhelming desire to be with someone at all times. Side effects may include low standards.

      Serial monogamy is the mid life crisis of college-aged daters. None of us can buy a sports car, or date someone younger without breaking the law, so jumping from partner to partner feels like a suitable option. College students also get bored easily, and may not be completely mature or ready for a serious relationship. Jumping from partner to partner eliminates loneliness but enhances co-dependency. It seems like the tried and true way of getting over your last relationship is to find someone new to crush on. Maybe it is time to just embrace the pain, and take a good hard look at being independent.

      Being single really isn't that bad. Alone time allows you the chance to work on yourself, whether it be academically, personally or socially. Maybe there is some activity you always wanted to do, but didn't have the time. Maybe you can focus on improving your friendships first. If you jump from relationship to relationship, it's possible to lose yourself in the other people, not knowing what you really want. Before embarking on a relationship of any kind, you have to be ready.

      But if you truly desire to be a serial monogamist, be aware of your actions. Flitting from partner to partner can definitely break some hearts, and you could also wind up with a reputation that you really don't want at all. And also remember that serial monogamy will eventually give way as you start to age. At some point, sooner or later, you are going to have to settle down.
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      In This Issue

      News

      • From newspapers to the net: famed editor delivers lecture on future of journalism
      • G20 protest in London: A firsthand account
      • ITS prepares for mail switch
      • New USG president to be chosen tonight: Douglas or Pinder
      • Sigma Phi Epsilon, Phi Mu win Greek Week competition
      • Understanding car insurance
      • Village at 115 awarded LEED Silver rating

      Sports

      • Baseball: Spartans bring brooms vs. Bethany, Grove City
      • Softball gets out of jams, into wins
      • Spartan Spotlight: Clay Hurley
      • Tennis: Women snap losing streak
      • Track & Field: Women's track takes fifth, men take ninth at DePauw
      • Ultimate: Women Gobies have fighting chance at regionals
      • Water polo workhorses

      Fun Page

      • Crossword Answers
      • Jumble Answers
      • Sudoku Answers

      Opinion

      • Community Supported Agriculture benefits both consumers, farmers
      • Don't let weather dictate your mood
      • Editorial: Administration should take responsibility for CSP
      • Students find motivation to serve in local, international efforts
      • Test bank not issue of Greeks versus non-Greeks
      • Coverage of AIB was slanted
      • Progress on test bank available

      Focus

      • Andrew Bird charms crowd with musicianship, melody and humor
      • CIM Orchestra to hold inspirational concert at Severance
      • Eldred delivers a solid ensemble performance with their latest, Stage Door
      • New movie review site combines Facebook with Rotten Tomatoes
      • Secret Ingredient: Pineapple
      • Sex and Dating: Serial Monogamy
      • Spartans of Style: Back to the '80s
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