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    Sex and Dating: When to say "I love you"

    Kali, Sex Goddess

    Issue date: 4/3/09 Section: Focus
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    These are possibly some of the most confusing issues of long-term relationships: When do you know you're in love? How long does it take to fall in love with someone? How can you be sure you love him? When you're sure, when is the right moment to tell him? I know this is really only something you can know yourself, but I have a feeling that more people think about it than would admit to it. Maybe, then, it's not such a bad thing to consider why we say "I love you" and what it means. As confusing as this can be, I'm going to try to give some advice that is as generally applicable as possible.

    The first thing you might want to do before you tell someone you love them or declare that you are in love is define love yourself. Love is just a word until we give it personal meaning. For instance, maybe you think loving someone is caring about him unconditionally, making them among your top priorities, or even spending the foreseeable future with him. Once you define what you think love is, it's easier to figure out if you actually love someone.

    Next, think about how that person feels. Yes, it is hard to know without asking, but you don't necessarily have to ask; you can watch her body language and listen to the tone of her voice when she talks to you. This isn't to say that you should try to figure out whether she loves you or not; it is just good to go in knowing that she cares for you and your feelings. That way, if you say "I love you," and she doesn't say it back, it won't be too awkward and you can still continue your relationship. Alternately, she might surprise you by saying it back.

    I think people worry about time more than anything else - how long do you have to date someone or like him before you love them? The answer to this is that you just know when you know. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I don't believe you have to be with someone or like him for a specific amount of time before you say it if you feel it. On the same note though, don't rush into it if you're not sure. If you have been in love before, you know what it feels like. If not, are you afraid of getting hurt, or are you OK with it and the fact that it's bound to happen sometimes?

    As far as telling her you love her, you can plan a time or day, or just say it whenever you feel like it. Personally, I think a little bit of a lead-in is good, and I also recommend thinking about how you want to say it beforehand (in a public setting or in private). Either way, remember that love is not supposed to be a negative emotion. Enjoy it!
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    In This Issue

    News

    • "Doc Oc" memorial statue to be dedicated
    • "Zombies" continue attacks
    • Cleveland, Case community celebrate Village at 115's LEED certifications
    • Despite recession, Case optimistic about incoming freshmen enrollment
    • Have you heard about: Ballroom Dance Society?
    • How to choose the right health insurance policy after graduation
    • Meet the Provost: providing answers to tough questions
    • USG � BRIEF

    Sports

    • Athlete association active off the field
    • Baseball: Walks cost Spartans in twinbill sweep
    • Softball: Andrasik's glove, bat key to win over Hiram
    • Spartan Spotlight: Angel Rice
    • Track & Field: Last stop before UAAs: Lynchburg

    Fun Page

    • Crossword Answers
    • Jumble Answers
    • Sudoku Solutions

    Opinion

    • Editorial: Study abroad policies need flexibility
    • Eight stages of genocide offer chances for prevention
    • Living abroad forces students to gain real world experience
    • Misogynistic comments should not be tolerated
    • Students find motivation to serve in local, international efforts
    • Surprising talents abound at Case

    Focus

    • Bat for Lashes impresses with soundscapes on Two Suns
    • Humorous Observe and Report has potential for cult film status
    • The Buzz
    • Winning story from CRAP Board's short story contest
    • Yeshiva University professor discusses transgenderism

    Sex and Dating

    • Letting it go

    Worst Case Scenario

    • Paper writing 101
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