Spartan Spotlight: Brian Cromer
Greg Meyer
Issue date: 11/13/09 Section: Sports
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Greg Meyer: Who inspired you to run?
Brian Cromer: My brother used to build pneumatic guns and test them on me as I walked home from school. I decided do an after-school sport; that way, my parents would come home and stop him before he could shoot me.
GM: Nothing like a little tough love. What are some of your extra-curricular activities?
BC: This is my third year as a Freshman RA. I'm currently the RA of Hitchcock 3rd floor.
GM: The top of the 'cock, good for you. What is your best cross country memory?
BC: Ironically, my best and worst XC memories came from the same race: Conference my freshman year in St. Louis. I was the 10th guy on our team, and as a joke, my team collectively bet $78 that I couldn't lead the race at the one-mile mark (of a five-mile race). I ran a 4:50 first mile and won the bet, along with my team's admiration. The worst XC memory was the next four miles of the race, because I died after that first mile. I went from first to last place. It was totally worth it.
GM: For $78? I think your coach would understand that XC is a business, and you made a solid decision. What is your favorite quote?
BC: "How the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing?" -Allen Iverson
GM: You a franchise player and you sittin' up in here talkin' 'bout practice. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
BC: Flipping omelets with Brian Link in Leutner. Who wouldn't want to sing along with Shaggy and creep on freshman girls?
GM: And you're an RA? Hitchcock women…lock your doors. What makes cross country stand out from other sports?
BC: XC girls don't shower after practice! Just ask any girl on our team.
GM: After what I heard from Jenna Yaney last week about what she collects on her runs, they should shower and get tetanus shots. If you could invite any three people to dinner, living or dead, who would it be and why?
BC: Obinna Nwanna, Bobby Voigt, and Robert Ontko. Along with myself, some hair dye, and a few gold chains…the A-Team makes a comeback. Why do I always think of these things after Halloween?
GM: All you need is the sweet van. If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?
BC: Either Glenn Quagmire or Keanu Reeves back in the peak of his acting career: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. It is important to note "peak" here is a relative term.
GM: If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?
BC: Three words: Naked pillow fight. Speaking of girls: Colleen Heffernan, I think we should see other people. That's right, I'm breaking up with you. I thought this was the best way to tell you because I'm already over my text message limit this month. You understand.
GM: How do you run out of texts in the second week of the month? Anyways… Hey Colleen, what are you up to this weekend? What would we find in your locker right now that might surprise us?
BC: A wooden box with a pair of brass testicles inside. Actually, that might be in Robert Ontko's locker now. Trust me, the explanation is even weirder.
GM: Is this supposed to be some jock metaphor like "it takes balls to run XC" or "grow a pair and run far distances?" What's the one thing that most people don't know about cross country?
BC: Most people don't understand the difference between XC and distance track. You see, if running were sex, track is the standard stuff: You run around in circles and you're done before you know it. XC is the kinky stuff: You turn all directions, you climb hills, and if you're lucky, it gets muddy. Some runners are better at XC, some at Track, but everyone likes a good old XC meet.
GM: I cannot think of a scenario where mud is good. Any insight on how the season is going so far?
BC: The guys' team is ready to avenge our tough conference race tomorrow at Regionals. We've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
GM: Good luck.
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